About Me

I am a human being, but I am different from the uncountable species in our universe—or even outside this universe, or in other dimensions that most people cannot see. I have an intense curiosity to understand everything under the first sky, said to be made of water, and to explore how our universe and other universes work.

Over time, I have trained my mind to question my own existence and to analyze whether every possible action—past, present, or future—is deterministic or non-deterministic, meaning whether it is truly under my control or not. But each time, I realize that millions of actions are not in my control. Yet somehow, we are still held accountable for actions and events that may happen in the future—even in the next second.

In these moments of contradiction, I often return to what Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib said—perhaps the most valid argument I have ever encountered against the illusion of total autonomy:

“I recognized my Lord by the failure of my determination.”
— Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (Nahjul Balagha)

It is in the shattering of my own will, in the dissolution of my carefully laid plans, that I am forced to acknowledge a boundary. A boundary where my control ends and something else—something vast and incomprehensible—begins.

Sometimes, these thoughts drag me into a state of quiet chaos. In those mental states, I catch myself performing irrelevant, irrational acts. It makes me wonder if the unconscious mind operates like a daemon—a background process, silent and tireless, constantly whispering, manipulating, and influencing the foreground of my focus.

I want to test my limits by continuously challenging myself. It feels like the only way to discover how much power I am truly capable of.